Gratitude

 While I did not think I would have a specific cadence for this blog, I had hoped to write more regularly about our story. The last thing I shared was a list of the resources we used to understand what a dyslexia diagnosis would mean and then to get help with the support process, reading tools, and testing. On this Thanksgiving Eve, instead of writing about what happened next in third grade, I thought I would share what I'm grateful for. 

When you are in the thick of it, it's not easy to have a lot of gratitude. Figuring out the real learning differences, the accommodations, whether the support works and how the test scores compare from year to year feels like a full-time job. It doesn't end. And then, every three years, you have the re-evaluation testing to see what's "officially" working and whether your kiddo still qualifies for support. 

Sometimes you find good people along the way to help you navigate. I was lucky to have great teachers, friends, and school systems. Talking to other parents at school events, with stories resembling Wilson's, I often heard something different. They were not getting support or fighting for every piece. It's crazy to think that we got the initial recognition and help because of the elementary school Wilson happened to go to and the teacher he was assigned. One of the reasons I joined the school committee was to help with equity in the district (a story for another day). 

Wilson's last re-evaluation was two years ago at about this time. I struggled to pull the data together to compare this one to the previous testing. I think I got the results late, and my numbers are in too many places. When I looked quickly, it didn't seem like he had made much progress. Many numbers were down. This was very discouraging as we were on the verge of college planning. 

The conversation during the meeting told a different story. In many cases, the scores were a little low because Wilson thoughtfully took his time to answer the questions, using the strategies he learned over the years, and ran out of time. All the years of scaffolding, sounding out, highlighting, and reading out loud worked. And I heard that he had become a great advocate for himself. 

I sent a thank you to everyone who helped Wilson through school to that point. Sometimes gratitude goes a long way, especially when this is hard work and many more negative emotions get shared. The system worked; Wilson had used the strategies he learned over the years. The notes back from the team were another boost. I heard that Wilson was a hard-working, smart, thoughtful kid. Validation!  

Thank you again to the people who helped us get to where we are today. I am not naming names, but you all know who you are. 

• First-grade teacher - The first person to notice something wasn't right and help me figure it out. She also tutored Wilson through 6th grade. It was unbelievably helpful to have someone who knew Wilson well, when to push or not, and could give me insight you don't often get. 

• Second-grade teacher - We did a lot of figuring out this year, and she helped Wilson before there was a specific directive to do so. 

• Third-grade teacher helped Wilson understand what it means to be a student and how to put the pieces together. I think he became a harder worker by the end. 

• Fourth-grade team - They supported Wilson through his ADHD diagnosis. 

• Reading teacher in elementary school - A lot of patience and encouragement for many years. We always had open and honest conversations. 

• MSN (moderate special needs) reading teacher in Middle School - kept pushing Wilson and gave him the tools when reading was a bigger part of his day.   

• Tutor - Another amazing human who put up with my moody kid and all my questions. Some days she just sat with Wilson, and others, she pushed. 

• 7th grade MSN - I think I heard from her every day, which is rare in Middle School.  

• 8th grade MSN - We had a lot of good conversations, from academics to social skills to being a student athlete. He really helped Wilson get ready for High School. 

• High School executive function teacher - In another rare situation, she worked with Wilson for three years, one of which was during COVID. She also provided the right balance of guidance and motivation.

• TV production teacher - Another person who spent more than a year with Wilson and was able to guide him. Wilson found an outlet for something that could be a realistic future path.

• Bradley University Admissions Counselor - This will be a blog topic soon. Thank you for giving Wilson another chance. 

• Moss Scholars Program - Wilson is thriving in college. 

These people are dedicated teachers who were kind to Wilson and me. They all knew when to push Wilson because he was not working up to his potential or when to give him a little slack because it's hard to have learning differences some days. And they all talked to me about how we – as a team – would get Wilson through whichever year we were in. None of this is easy, I wish it were a little less hard, and I could not have done it without them. 

Thank you.